I may still be in my dressing gown...
But I digress! Kind of. Today is another milestone because I have done EXERCISE, like back in the olden days when I saw human people every day and had to wear shoes and shirts and underpants to work. (Well not every day, not the last one.)
So yes, today I had a personal training session at the local gym, with a very nice man named Ivor. Ivor made me do things with things I'd never seen before. One of them was like a little handbag made of heavy metal and filled with heavy metal, and he made me swing it betwixt my legs, which looks ridiculous but made my muscles hurt. All of them. He also made me do this thing where you're stood holding a rope in each hand, to the side, and they both have weights on. I felt a bit like Samson, but with better, sweatier hair. And there were barbells and twisty trunk rope things and these mats on the floor; it was all so new and scary! (I had seen, and even used, a floor mat before, apols for the lying implications.)
Did you know that new gyms have TVs on everything? This one had, at a guess, one TV per square inch? That's... I don't know if that's good or not. Does Loose Women make you want to keep on going...? I think I'll stick to my awesome gym playlist thanks.
You know how when you do intense exercise, it hurts the next day? And sometimes, if it's particularly intense, it hurts even more the day after that? What does it mean when you already have all that next-day pain just two hours later? I'm slightly scared that I'll be crippled by Thursday.
I also finally constructed my bike (I had handlebar issues, if you can believe it) and braved the Bristol traffic. It was actually far less scary than I'd thought it would be. In fact, ridiculous hills aside, I think Bristol may be reasonably well-equipped to deal with cyclists.
Cut to me, bleeding and dying on the side of the road. Ha ha ha!
Anyway, this is all a good thing. I think if I'd left it much longer, my bones and muscles may have atrophied, and gradually I'd lose the use of my limbs. And they'd have to be amputated to stop the diabetic gangrene and then I'd have to replace them with bike parts and the, well, I'd be a wheeler.
I do like the arm flares though and I already have my own helmet... And then maybe I'd be around people...